Confessions of a 911 Dispatcher: Is Perfectionism Stealing Your Joy?

I am a recovering perfectionist. I say recovering because after starting a business and being in a job that is so fluid, it’s impossible to operate at the level of perfectionism I once did.  (It doesn’t mean I don’t try, though.)

There are probably some of you who can fully relate when I say that I don’t even know how many times I’ve broken down in tears, either because I didn’t live up to my expectations or out of frustration that someone else didn’t. So many things in life I’ve done over or wished I could have done over because it just wasn’t as good as I thought it could or should be. So many times, I’ve become upset because someone didn’t act or perform as well as I thought they should have.

Calling me “Type A” is an understatement some days.

This seems to be a common trait amongst dispatchers. Now of course, there are those who are not Type A or fall along the continuum towards a more relaxed version, but there are many of us true Type A’s whose need for perfection and control has and/or will contribute to a health issue here or there. We just want the job done right and for everyone to do it correctly as well. Is it so much to ask that everyone have the same passion and drive that we do, and that all those who don’t be weeded out because how on earth could they be doing well at the job if they’re not meeting our standards???

Well, yes, it is too much to ask.

It’s too much to ask people who do not see the world as we do to suddenly begin to when they sit down at the console.

It’s too much to ask that they automatically understand why we are the way that we are and adjust their behavior accordingly.

But above it all…

It’s too much to ask of ourselves to allow us to let our mood and attitude be dependent on how others operate.

I’m not saying the center should be a free-for-all and no one should be held accountable, but what I’ve learned in recent years is, no one will do this job like me.

No one will care like me. No one will pay attention to detail like me. No one will go above and beyond at almost every opportunity like me.

And not because they don’t care as much or don’t go the extra mile as much or don’t pay attention as much, but because they ARE NOT ME (OR YOU). Just as I am not them. They may do the exact same things I do, but I don’t see it through the same lens.

So when you have a new employee or coworker and you’re just so sure that they’re screwing it all up and not getting anything right, take a step back and think: Are they not meeting the standards of the job, or are they not meeting MY standards? Often, for us perfectionists, these are two completely different things.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in the past couple of years is relaxing my judgment and not basing my coworkers’ or even the world’s performance based on my standards. It’s tough. For those of you just learning this lesson, I won’t lie and say it was easy to change my ways. It wasn’t. I still fail at it some days.

BUT.

Please believe me when I say that it’s one of the best things I’ve done to decrease stress, especially at work. The freedom of not tying myself or others to these standards I’ve created in my head gives me so many more moments to enjoy life and roll with the punches.

I will forever hold myself to a certain standard. Yes, it will change as time goes on, but that personal standard will always be there. And for myself, that’s okay. When I try to apply it to others, it becomes a problem I need to avoid.

My name is Halcyon, and I am a recovering perfectionist.